Insecurity in a Relationship

Have you ever felt that you are not suitable for your partner? Do you feel that you are not good for him/her? This is known as insecurity.

What Does Insecurity in a Relationship Mean?

Insecurity is anxiety that arises which causes a lack of confidence in yourself. This sense of insecure is actually normal in a relationship. However, feeling worried and afraid is not good enough for a partner, it seems like almost everyone has experienced this, but for people who insecure in the relationship often have fears and worries that are irrational and actually not real. That's why often this sense of insecure can trigger relationship problems, when in fact your relationship with that girlfriend is just fine. You also need to know, someone who can experience insecure in the relationship is not only girls, but men can also feel insecure.

Insecure can also arise when someone does not want to make mistakes for fear of being unacceptable and abandoned by a partner. This is what causes him to be reluctant to express his feelings and thoughts to his partner. In fact, being open with our condition to the couple is important.

Insecurity in a Relationship
source: pixabay.com

The more a person relies on a partner, he/she will try hard to maintain a relationship. That’s why, don't hold his/her hand tightly, you will get hurt later. Yes, because something excessive is not good.

Having been betrayed, abandoned, and hurt in a previous relationship unconsciously affects someone's behavior in the current relationship. If this thought continues to emerge, it could even be that the fate of love in the past will be repeated in your relationship today. So get rid of all negative thoughts that haunt your relationship.

If you discard all insecure feelings in a relationship, you can open yourself completely to your partner. You can accept him completely, no need to fear losing him again, do not feel you have to control all aspects of the relationship.

Feeling Of Insecurity In a Relationship

Realize insecure won't help you solve problems. Existing problems become even more complicated because of your insecurity. When you insecure, you assume negative assumptions, so you spend your energy focusing on those assumptions. If the assumption does not occur, you will be disappointed.

These attitudes indicate that you or your partner is experiencing insecurities in a relationship.

1. Too jealous

Jealousy is indeed a sign of love and love for a partner. However, when your jealousy has crossed the line by always making a fuss over small things in the relationship, it is a sign that you are insecure.

2. Demanding a Partner to Become the Perfect Figure

There is no perfect human in this world. You may be jealous of other partners who are far more romantic than your partner and make your partner to obey all your wishes. That is wrong. Precisely what you do is a childish action that cannot accept any shortcomings from your partner.

3. Possessive

Even though your partner has chosen you to be a special person in their lives, it doesn't mean that they are entirely yours. Your partner is not someone who can always be there for you.

If you often feel annoyed with the behavior of a partner who always does not give news and whereabouts and demands to always give any news, you are in a dangerous sense of insecure. You who always curb it will make your relationship become toxic and fall apart.

5 Types of Insecurity in a Relationship

Insecurity is a dark shadow that haunts all relationships. Insecurity is a natural thing that is felt by humans, because humans tend to be less able to realize their own strengths than others. Insecurity also arises because of various things caused by themselves or others.

Actually, there is no very specific cause for insecure. However, this feeling generally arises due to traumatic experiences, such as divorce or loss of someone in a painful way.

Another experience that can also cause feelings of insecure is feeling hurt due to being mistreated. For example, this feeling will arise when you have just failed with a previous relationship due to cheating.

Whatever the reason, insecurity is a negative thing that can damage the relationship if you can't handle it properly. To overcome this, you and your partner must be able to recognize various kinds of insecurity that arise in relationships. Following are some types of insecurities in a relationship that you should recognize.

1. Comparing Yourself to the Ex

If you believe your partner still loves your ex, ask yourself “Why would your partner choose you if he or she still loves their ex? “ When people compare themselves to ex-spouses, it is because he is insecure and not sure he is better than ex.

2. Willingness to Be Praised

Do you always want to hear your partner say "I love you" to you? Do you always want to hear your partner compliment you? Are you often afraid your partner will leave you? If yes, then you are feeling insecure. When someone feels he must hear the expression of love from his partner on an ongoing basis, it means he feels less confident with himself. This also happens due to lack of smooth communication between partners.

3. Playing with a partner

Many people make fun of their partners because they feel uncomfortable with themselves. For example, he is not sure his partner does not love him, so he tries to make his partner jealous. He behaves handsomely in front of people who are interested in him to be seen as cool and better. He also likes to give 'code' to the couple because of fear and prestige to express their own feelings.

4. Jealousy

This is a type of insecurity that is very common among couples. When someone is jealous, it is actually not because of the person he is jealous of, but because of himself. He feels insecure and considers people he envies to have strengths that he does not have. So, if you consider your partner's friends as a threat that means you have to introspect yourself. The more you are confident, the frequency of your jealousy will also decrease.

5. Needy

Being a needy partner is a sign that you are an insecure person. People can become needy because they are afraid of their partner having an affair when they separate for a moment, so he feels he must go anywhere and do anything with his partner. If you are a confident person, you can definitely separate from your partner for the sake of the relationship.

If one or several types of insecurity are in you, don't worry because it can be overcome by improving the quality of self.

How to get over Insecurities in Relationships

Insecurity is an emotional problem that is commonly felt by women. These problems affect the relationship.

Insecurities in a relationship can occur because someone feels worthless or improper side by side with their partner. Leaving excessive feelings of insecure can make the relationship unstable. At least it can make couples feel uncomfortable.

The best thing you can do in a relationship is to be your best self and give your relationship the best. If you've done it and the relationship still fails, think of it as a lesson.

Below are tips on how to get over insecurities in a relationship:

1. Grow Confidence

Try to convince yourself, so that feelings of insecure do not disturb the relationship. The feeling of insecure usually comes from yourself. Feelings of insecure due to anxiety and fear can be overcome by convincing yourself that your relationship with your partner will be happy.

Insecurity in a Relationship

source: pixabay.com

2. Feel Valuable and Special

Tips to eliminate insecure in a relationship, can be done by instilling the thought that you are valuable and special. These tips can make your relationship last. Although feelings of insecure often come, because they feel themselves are not special and worthless in front of a partner, but in fact the couple chose you because they feel yourself special and valuable.

In order not to insecure or inferior when meeting a partner, first instill the thought that you are special and valuable. After that make your appearance looks precious and special. It looks valuable and special, not only for couples, but for your own good to be respected.

3. Improve Self Quality

Tips to eliminate insecure in relationships, can be done by improving the quality of self. These tips can also make the relationship more lasting. Feelings of insecure often arise, because they feel themselves inappropriate and then inferior. This can be overcome by increasing the quality that is within.

You can note the advantages and disadvantages they have. Then cover your weaknesses with your strengths, this can also make yourself look better. Self quality can also be explored with a hobby. If Friends Fimela has a hobby of writing, develop the hobby to make yourself proud and qualified.

4. Believe You Will Be Happy

Tips to eliminate insecure in a relationship, can be done with mutual trust, that this relationship will be lasting and happy. Even though there are often conflicts in relationships, and many people are fighting, they still believe that your relationship is still happy and lasting.

Do not easily believe in what people say, which will damage the relationship, and add insecure in you. Communicate with your partner, always be honest and accept your partner as is, so that the relationship is lasting and happy. The lasting relationship depends on you and your partner. So make sure you all have the same commitment when starting a relationship.

5. Recognize and Receive Insecure Feelings

Tips to eliminate insecure in a relationship, can be done by accepting the feelings of insecure, so that the relationship becomes lasting. The feeling of insecure is a natural feeling. Especially if it's just dating, so the feeling of insecure must be well received.

Communicate with your partner, tell me if you have insecure feelings in establishing this relationship. If your partner is a good person, he will accept you. Although insecure is a natural feeling, and often happens to many people, but try not to be too drawn into the feeling of insecure.